First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
