if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
