Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
