I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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