Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
