I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
