Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
