Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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