I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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