how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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