It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
