Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
