we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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