weddingsv make me drug and hornr
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
sarcasm needs its own font
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
