I think my fart just growled at me.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
