I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
