Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
