Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
