Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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