I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
