hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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