I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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