I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
