I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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