So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
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Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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