i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
