They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
