two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize