I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
