I think i sorta joined a cult last night
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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