just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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