I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
