I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
