"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He did a backflip because drugs
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