I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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