im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
