i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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