Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
