I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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