Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
