Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize