Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
