my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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