I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
