I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
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Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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