yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
