this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
