do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
