im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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