shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
