I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
