What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
