You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you made out with another girl for some wings
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF