ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes