Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong