Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...

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  (239): I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby... http://tfl.nu/v25y
  Replies (12) Good night (795) Bad night (2818)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.

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  (416): She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up. http://tfl.nu/q0c1
  Replies (7) Good night (670) Bad night (1838)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  So can I buy you a drink sometime?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.

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  (918): So can I buy you a drink sometime? (206): Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days. http://tfl.nu/hks4
  Replies (28) Good night (1298) Bad night (7796)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.

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  (905): FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk. http://tfl.nu/mb8o
  Replies (37) Good night (1261) Bad night (5524)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?

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  (262): Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon? http://tfl.nu/jffu
  Replies (9) Good night (4469) Bad night (1284)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.

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  (617): I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw. http://tfl.nu/9aqz
  Replies (17) Good night (4743) Bad night (1035)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.

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  (515): im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right. http://tfl.nu/w229
  Replies (6) Good night (2358) Bad night (914)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina

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  (865): it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina http://tfl.nu/yy9c
  Replies (16) Good night (2321) Bad night (904)
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  (845): View more from New York

  lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you

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  (845): lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you http://tfl.nu/altf
  Replies (5) Good night (1927) Bad night (751)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."

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  (818): Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy." http://tfl.nu/kcv8
  Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (456)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.

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  (214): I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted. http://tfl.nu/jl70
  Replies (6) Good night (1467) Bad night (451)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.

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  (914): Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing. http://tfl.nu/rvdd
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

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  (918): I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far? http://tfl.nu/cfji
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (290)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?

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  (330): Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night? http://tfl.nu/irts
  Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.

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  (205): I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die. http://tfl.nu/2vzl
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (576)

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