Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
