This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
