She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
