I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
