I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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