i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
