Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
