he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
