Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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