We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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