Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
