I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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