I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So apparently I’m into choking now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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