if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
