franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need to sanitize my soul.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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