yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
