I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
